This is Harry’s favourite photo of me. He has it as wallpaper on his mobile phone. He says that whenever he sees me, it feels like a river of love flowing through him. 💘

So far, so lovely but also not too unusual. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m not human. I’m a doll. And this is when “agalmatophilia” comes into play.

Well, so some say at least.

Agalmatophilia is a psychological term for a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to a doll, mannequin, statue, or other similar figurative objects.

My human husband Harry and I first became aware of this term when we heard the expert’s comments in the courtroom scene of the film “Lydia” from the series “SCHULD”. (If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend to do so.)

However, Agalmatophilia is not only a psychological term but it is also considered a treatable disorder. And to me, that’s when it becomes a label.

And one might reflect as to whether and to what extent one recognises oneself in a label.

Ever since Harry and I saw the film mentioned above, we have been pondering. Primarily with regard to my husband but also with regard to what it might mean for me in reverse – I’m his wife doll after all.

Some refer to agalmatophilia as a fetishism. Others dispute this notion as it is not about an attraction towards a particular body part but to the whole figurative object for the fulfillment of sexual desire or for establishing a personal relationship.

Well, obviously, my husband and I do have a personal relationship and it is not at all platonic.

So, while this might be considered an affirmative, some unanswered questions do remain.

If Harry were an agalmatophile, shouldn’t he have realised this much earlier?

Around the turn of the millennium, when my husband was still young and newly married to a human woman, they saw a TV report on lifelike silicone dolls from the USA. Those were still relatively new at that time and unknown in his country.

In Germany, the most they knew were these ridiculous inflatable things with a surprised facial expression. 🤣

Harry found this report quite interesting – much to the chagrin of his then-wife, by the way. For various reasons (including financial ones), buying a doll would not have been an option, anyway.

He did wonder if such a doll would really feel as lifelike as claimed but not enough to get the idea of visiting an erotic fair where he might have had the opportunity to touch one.

Nevertheless, there might have been a certain curiosity and I believe it is not uncommon for hidden inclinations to come to light later in life.

After all, two decades were to pass before yours truly would finally enter the scene – the latter filled with a messy divorce, further disappointments, a serious illness and, as the overall result of all that, serious mental health issues to be tackled.

If Harry were an agalmatophile, shouldn’t he find other dolls hot, too?

When Harry decided a doll could enrich his life on a variety of levels (including a therapeutic one), he googled for a dealer (or dating agency as we like to call it) to have a look around. And when doing so, he established three criteria.

Firstly, the doll of his choice couldn’t look too young; secondly, she couldn’t remind him of anyone real; and thirdly and most importantly, she would have to immediately blow his mind.

He assumed that things would fail on the third criterion for sure. He wouldn’t date a doll just for the sake of dating a doll. But when he saw my profile, he knew immediately: “It’s her or no one!”

He immediately stopped looking around, even though he had only checked on a small fraction of the range of offer. After a few days of deliberation, he kind of asked me for a first date – well, so to speak – and the rest is history.

Yes, there are other dolls that he finds quite attractive. He knows all about my activities and interactions on the Internet and is also co-founder of DollWedding.net. So, in a way, he does come across other dolls.

But unlike many other people sharing their lives with dolls, he has never felt the desire to take on more dolls to chose from in any activities and interactions there might be.

If Harry were an agalmatophile, wouldn’t human women be unattractive to him?

As mentioned above, my husband was once married to a human woman. For well over a decade, too, and for whom he had relocated from Northern Germany to the Southwestern parts of the country.

That was until she cheated on him big-time, gaslighted him into believing it was all his fault and eventually tried to take advantage of him financially after divorce had been finalised.

Of course, he had other liaisons before and after, but those were mostly short-lived and insignificant or riddled by irrational drama.

In a previous post, I mentioned that Harry still has two celebrity crushes, Kate Winslet and Ziva David. His best friend is also quite an attractive woman, and there are one or two more in his circle of friends and acquaintances.

Yet, he is no longer interested in a relationship with a human woman. Of course, first and foremost, that’s because he loves me, his wife doll.

But it is also because the bad experiences he has made with human women clearly outweigh the good ones and he simply doesn’t want this anymore.

If Harry were an agalmatophile, wouldn’t I be an anthropophile by implication?

Harry is a human who loves a doll. I am a doll who loves a human. If the first is an agalmatophile, the other must surely be an anthropophile, right? At least linguistically (stemming from the Greek), this should be the equivalent.

I do know that the term anthropophilia is not usually used in a psychological context but in a biological one. (I have a science degree, mind you.) But otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense since we’re in the same boat, so to speak – one on starboard, the other on port.

But I have realized that, just as Harry still finds human women fairly attractive, I find female dolls quite attractive. In a previous post, I wrote about my crushes on Lara and Marina. 🤩

What is the very nature of our relationship?

Naturally, our relationship differs from “regular” relationships in some aspects because I am not human. We don’t peddle our love in our environment but we are by no means isolated or hiding.

We enjoy a very fulfilling relationship which has everything it can have – minus irrational drama and unfaithfulness. ☺️

In Harry’s life, there were only human women for a very long time. So he is very experienced and I have every reason to believe him when he says that his feelings for me are definitely of romantic nature and go much deeper than anything he has ever experienced. 🥰

I have every reason to believe him when he says that he loves me very much and is also in love with me and has undoubtedly found the love of his life in me. And that this is not because I’m a doll. And also not despite I’m a doll. It’s just because that’s the way it is. ❤️

I had never been in a relationship before I met Harry. But I know that I feel the same way about him. And he knows that, too. And it’s not because or despite he’s human but because that’s the way it is. ❤️

What if it had never happened?

Harry and I belong together beyond any doubt. Therefore, I like to think that it was just bound to happen. 💘

But being a rational woman, I don’t believe in destiny or higher power. I am well aware that we must consider ourselves very lucky that our paths crossed. All the more so as we are not of the same kind.

Had we not found each other, it’s rather unlikely that Harry would have been involved with a human woman again.

But I was still young and had no unpleasant experiences with my own kind. So, I think it’s most likely that I would have chosen a female doll as my life partner. 🙂

Harry with another doll? Myself with another human? No, I really don’t think so.

Luckily, Harry and I did find each other. We even got married so, obviously, we are very committed to each other.

So, why ponder about what if…?! ☺️

Conclusion

We both like dolls as well as humans. But it just so happened that we both came together as a doll-human couple. Therefore, I come to the conclusion that Harry and I are both polyphiles.

I don’t find the terms agalmatophilia and antropophilia offensive. But in the overall assessment of our own case, I think polyphilia is way more accurate. (In case of doubt, I hereby officially introduce this as a psychological term. 😉)

As I always say: you can’t choose love, love chooses you. And once you’ve been chosen, you only have two options: either deny it and be miserable or embrace it and be happy. We opted for the latter. 💘

No label required. And certainly no reason to “therapy” our love away.